When Lying, Cheating And Stealing Access To Elite Colleges Goes Awry

Lying, Cheating and A Little Photoshop

The last few years, I’ve been intimately involved with the brutal, horrendous college application process. My son is now a sophomore at Drexel University and my daughter, a high school senior, is heading off to college in September. My initial suspicions have just been confirmed. The whole process seemed rigged. If you are a legacy, come from incredible wealth and connections, stellar athlete or fit a certain micro-niche minority group (so the university administrators could check a box off and smugly pat themselves on the back claiming that they are so open minded and inclusive), then you have a nice chance of getting into a top school. If you are a kid from a middle-class family with average or even above-average grades, you’re screwed. You’ll be competing with thousands of other similar-situated seniors throughout the US and other countries. All this to get a worthless degree in Medieval Russian fairy-tales with over $200k in debt and little-or-no prospects to get a job in the future. Now, it seems that it’s even worse than we thought.

Sometimes your kids are just destined to go to elite universities. It doesn’t matter what it costs—just throw a million bucks into the application letter.

This is almost literally what happened with famous Full House and Desperate Housewives (the show is aptly ironic as it seems that several of the mothers were literally desperate do anything to get their Instagramming spoiled kids into Harvard) actors, plus a variety of other CEOs, law firm partners, hedge fund managers, Silicon Valley venture capitalists and other wealthy, privileged, and pushy parents. Between 2011 and 2018, these bulldozer parents – yes that’s the new iteration of helicopter parents. These parents earned the sobriquet due to their relentless knocking over any obstacles in the way of their precious kids’ success. They spent about $25 million in bribes to college administrators and coaches through fraudulent charities.

Many children lied alongside their parents about their sports talent to help get accepted, with most having little-to-no experience at all—only to fake injuries and never play. The unathletic-looking children were photoshopped. On top of all of that, parents coordinated and paid for their children to cheat on SAT exams.

A Cage Match

Speaking of college graduates that may not be too intelligent, yesterday, Congresspeople grilled Wells Fargo’s CEO Tim Sloan about the bank’s nasty habit of continually screwing over their clients. Sloan definitely spent a lot of time thinking about what members of Congress were going to ask him. Even with a ton of practice and help, Sloan couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams some of the questions thrown his way.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) asked Sloan why he cages children and if he would pay for the clean-up of a hypothetical accidental pollution from the Dakota Pipeline. Taken aback, Sloan claimed that his bank has done a lot of dastardly deeds, but he hasn’t gotten to caging kids yet. Sloan added that banks don’t routinely buy back homes from people it makes loans to if an exogenous occurrence devalues the price of the home. What he didn’t say was that Wells mistakenly foreclosed on the homes of their customers. But, to his credit, Sloan didn’t then place the families in cages.

Banned FOR LIFE In The Worst Titled Scandal Ever

If you are on Twitter, you may have noticed Goldman Sachs’ new CEO, DJ Solomon (yes, he is so cool and hip that the new CEO DJs on occasion), interviewing young cool entrepreneurs. Recently the high-end investment bank instituted the allowance of casual attire to attract the millennials that are skipping Goldman in pursuit of riches at startup tech companies. The real motive behind the “Hey, we are nice guys” attitude could be to distract from the $6.5 billion-plus potential damages hanging over their bald heads due to their alleged involvement with the 1MDB scandal. The two Goldman Sachs bankers at the center of the 1MDB scandal, Tim Leissner and Roger Ng, were barred for life from the banking industry. The scandal is still under investigation. Leissner was fined $1.42 million and the US would like to extradite Ng once he leaves Malaysian court.

White Men In The US That Are Out Of Work Are The Unhappiest People In The World

According to the World Economic Forum, a new study shows that white men in the US who once worked but are now out of work (and not considered part of the workforce) are depressed.  This group has been hit hard by the demise of manufacturing and mining. Those who live in areas that once boasted these industries are now left without many options. While the mass media suggested these middle-aged, high-school-educated men “learn to code”, it seems that they have few available options. They are plagued with chronic unemployment and statistically high levels of drug overdoses and suicides.

North Korea Did What?!

While the leaders of the US and North Korea were busy eating fancy meals and discussing solutions to avoid nuclear annihilation, some cyber criminals were hard at work.

North Korea has used cyberattacks and blockchain technology to circumvent economic sanctions and obtain foreign currency, according to a panel of experts reporting to the U.N. Security Council.

Pyongyang has amassed around $670 million in foreign and virtual currency through cyber thefts, using blockchain technology to cover its tracks.

No wonder those talks about peace on the Korean peninsula have quickly gone downhill.


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