The Investigation Investigating The Investigators

Wall Street Cleans Up And Bounces Back

Yesterday, the media was hyperventilating that the world was coming to an end as the Dow vomited up 700 points after China and U.S. trade spat.

Today, everything seems brighter as the stock market rebounded 350 points—recovering a good chunk of yesterday’s plunge. The impetus for the good mood on Wall Street was reports that China and the U.S. are set to continue trade talks. President Donald Trump said he plans to have a date with China’s Xi Jinping at the G20 summit in late June, and it will be “probably a very fruitful meeting,” Reuters reported.  I’ve noticed a trend that you can probably make some money trading on it. When the stock market is down, Trump says China trade talks are doing great, and it bounces back up again. When it races upward, an emboldened Trump can’t help but trash talk China and the gains evaporate. So, I think we have to take all of this posturing with a grain of salt.

Of Course I’ll Be Rich… In The Next 1-To-10 Years…

Speaking of stocks, Charles Schwab, the large discount brokerage, conducted its annual Modern Wealth Survey. It questioned a national sampling of 1,000 Americans between the ages of 21 and 75, and asked them what amount of money it took to be considered rich. The results averaged out to $2.3 million. That number is, “more than 20 times the actual median net worth of U.S. households.” Millennials, unlike the materialistic Gen-X and Baby Boomer generations, disputed the premise of the survey. Over 75% of them defined their personal definition of wealth as the richness in which they live their lives (says the generation with no money and lots of college debt). They’re not concerned, however, since 60% of them “plan to be wealthy within one to 10 years.”

How Dumb Are DJ Khaled And Floyd Mayweather Fans? Just Enough To Keep Them Out Of Jail

For those who were worried about boxer Floyd Mayweather  and music producer DJ Khaled getting into legal hot water for lending their names to a promotion of a crypto ICO, you can relax. They are off the hook by being dismissed from an investor lawsuit by a federal judge. The judge indirectly said that the fans of Mayweather and Khaled are too dumb to know what an ICO is and most likely didn’t partake in the offering.

First He Stole Kim Jong-Un’s Heart…

Speaking of dumb things, Dennis Rodman, the flamboyant basketball Hall of Famer who brokered peace for all time between the U.S. government and North Korea, was accused of stealing a 400-pound amethyst crystal from Vibes Hot Yoga studio in Newport Beach. We even have the video! Why did he allegedly to this? If you have to ask, you aren’t familiar with Rodman.

The Investigation Investigating The Investigators

New Attorney General William Barr is opening an investigation to investigate the investigators who were involved in the so-called “Russia Investigation.”

President Donald Trump has continuously pointed to the investigation into his administration as a ‘witch hunt.’ He points to the texts between two FBI agents, who are now fired for having an affair, that hinted at the investigation as an “insurance policy” in case Trump were to win.

The issue stems from the wiretapping of former campaign aide Carter Page, which was granted in FISA court. People are led to believe that the FISA court was intentionally misled because the investigators told the judge that the dossier written by Christopher Steele was evidence—and not material that the DNC and the Clinton Campaign paid for.

Now, the U.S. Attorney in Connecticut, John H. Durham, is in charge of investigating the investigators of the “Russia Investigation” to make sure that the investigation Trump has repeatedly called phony was properly handled.
All this news would have been much funnier if  the push to legalize recreational marijuana in New York and New Jersey (where we are) wasn’t squashed by buzzkill politicians.  

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